Our relationship with stress
Stress is normal and plays an important role, to help enable us to respond quickly to challenges, threats and avoid danger. Sometimes stress is needed and used to help complete a work task to deadline for example. However, if this continues for long periods, it can be detrimental to our overall well-being.
Beyond Blue reports that you may be at risk, if for the majority of the last two weeks, you found it hard to relax, felt stressed or overwhelmed, or felt panicky or anxious. Therefore, it’s important to take steps to reduce or manage stress before it gets to that point.
Way to reduce stress
Regain control
Tracey Zielinski, a clinical psychologist, says, “When stressed, we tend to feel overwhelmed and “out of control” of what’s going on in our life. If we feel in control of our own actions in a situation, we can plan, problem solve and navigate our way through.
It is important to note that the focus is on control of our own actions and reactions. Once we try to be in control of the whole situation, the task becomes far more difficult and stressful. Ultimately, we cannot control other people’s actions. We can only ever be in control of our actions and responses."
Breathing
The autonomic nervous system helps us deal with threatening and challenging situations by triggering a shift into sympathetic mode, often referred to as the fight or flight reflex. Effectively this causes physical changes such as faster and more shallow breathing, and adrenalin racing through our systems so that we are on high alert and ready to react. However, constantly remaining in this mode of stress can affect us.
It's incredibly important for us to relearn how to shift from sympathetic, distressed mode into relaxed (parasympathetic) mode.
The easiest way to relax our bodies is to adjust our breathing such as through diaphragmatic breathing. Zielinski calls it “breathing through your eyes”: Take a long slow breath in through your nose. Imagine the breath flowing so far up your nose that it dives out through the bridge of your nose and flows back into your eyes. Focus on feeling the breath in your eyes.
Ideally, you will breathe out through your mouth, long and slow. Try to breathe out for at least as long as you breathe in, if not longer.
Plan and prioritise
Once calm, look into all the things you are dealing with. Are there any you can take off the list? Are there things you can just get in and finish up? Do you have specific deadlines for some things?
Prioritise by considering how important and how urgent each thing is. Work on the tasks first that are both important and urgent first. Then tackle those most urgent, then by importance.
Taking time out
Taking time out to do something for yourself that you enjoy can help take your mind off your worries and take you away from the daily stresses of your life. This could be swimming, yoga, walking or a hobby such as gardening, reading, music or art.
When you participate in something creative, such as an art lesson or art project of knitting a scarf for a friend, it can also provide a goal to work towards and a great sense of achievement.
Mindfulness activities
Incorporate breathing and muscle relaxation exercises into your daily routine. Even stopping to meditate for at least 5 minutes a day can make a difference. Practicing yoga is great as it incorporates both meditation and movement to provide benefits for the mind and body. There are now apps available that help guide you through meditation techniques.
Exercise regularly
If you can prioritise physical exercise into your daily routine like you do with teeth brushing, this can help manage daily stress, relax and relieve tension. Taking part in team sports or going for a walk with a friend has the bonus factor of socialisation with others, which is also great for mental health. Try to be active every day, even if it’s just going for a walk or a 10 minute exercise video at home.
Listening to music or podcasts while exercising can make it more enjoyable. You may learn a new thing or two while exercising.
Nutrition and stress
Dr. Elissa Epel, Professor and Vice Chair of the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at the University of California, San Francisco, has been investigating the relationship between nutrition and stress. She has found that stress can lead to unhealthy eating behaviours, such as comfort eating to deal with stress. On the other hand, nutrition also affects stress. She has found population-based studies that show dietary patterns emphasizing whole foods were associated with lower levels of anxious feelings and stress, compared to a diet high in fatty processed foods.
Try not to skip meals and eat a healthy diet such as that recommended by the Australian Dietary Guidelines. Limit alcohol and caffeine, which can increase anxious feelings.
Get enough sleep
When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest. According to Mind Australia, sleep and mental health are linked: Headspace recommends sleep as it can help to better deal with stressful situations.
Remind yourself of your achievements
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself of what you do well. For example, you could note down all that you have achieved at the end of the day.
Recognise and reduce triggers of stress
Learn what triggers your stress. Is it work, family, school, or something else you can identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed or anxious and look for a pattern. In doing this, you can then take the appropriate action to try to tackle the source of stress.
Volunteering
Being of service to others in your community, perhaps for a cause you are passionate about, can help create a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Unhelpful thoughts
The way you think affects the way you feel, and what you do. According to the Dr. Happy, within Cognitive Therapy, a number of common “unhelpful thoughts” have been identified that contribute to stress. Becoming aware of these unhelpful thoughts is the first step to changing them.
Examples of these include:
- Overgeneralisation: Coming to a general conclusion based on a single event or one piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen again and again. Such thoughts often include the words “always” and “never”. He didn’t want to go out with me. I’ll always be lonely.
- Filtering: Concentrating on the negatives while ignoring the positives. E.g. I know he [my boss] said most of my submission was great but he also said there were a number of mistakes that had to be corrected,he must think I'm really hopeless.
- All or Nothing Thinking: Thinking in black and white terms (e.g., things are right or wrong, good or bad). A tendency to view things at the extremes with no middle ground. E.g. I made so many mistakes. If I can’t do it perfectly I might as well not bother. I won’t be able to get all of this done, so I may as well not start it.
Beyond Blue also offer the following tips for reducing stress:
Resolve personal conflicts
Stress in personal relationships can be a major contributor to conflict. Learning how to communicate honestly with people and address problems or conflicts as they arise is important. A counsellor or psychologist can help you find ways to work through your problems.
Control your work
It’s important to maintain a sustainable work and life balance. If work is increasing your stress levels, avoid long hours and additional responsibilities, and learn to say ‘no’ more often.
Get support
Simply talking to someone such as a friend, doctor or counsellor can help relieve stress. Don’t be afraid to ask for support at home, at work or in your other activities.